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Thursday, August 07, 2008

almost

a wise man once wrote me these words of advice:

hi suz,

your mom said you were down in the dumps. there are a lot of fishes in the sea and you can cast your hook and bait anytime. just think, summer is just around the bend and you can put on some bait (bikini) and go fishing. throw the ones you don't want back into the water. fish like to see bait all the time, and will keep going for it. short of knocking one over the head and dragging him home, i don't know what else to tell you.

~ one of the fishes (experienced though)

p.s. if i am not interested in the bait, i look elsewhere

FISH

i had to fire up my old toshiba 225CDS college laptop to retrieve those words of hope and enlightenment. it was back in april of '99 that uncle mike encouraged me to get back in the boat or the water or something like that.

some of my faithful readers have been reading between the lines and have noticed that all is not well in my little pond. paul and i tried to make the pieces fit, we really did.

we just never finished it. i sort of feel like my hands are all covered in fish guts, with soil-encrusted earthworm entrails under my fingernails, and hatch-mark scratches and gashes from the bites of the hooks. ouch.

but we're both gonna be ok.

5 comments:

Mr. Benchly said...

I'm sorry.

Here's hoping you complete that rainbow someday. And kudos to your Uncle Mike for being awesome.

Maura said...

Your Uncle Mike is right Suz, there are always other fish in the sea but it doesn't make the salt water sting any less right now, does it? I'm thinking about you and sending you my love!
MO

Lesh said...

Hey sweets!
I'm so sorry about you and P. I got a lil' misty-eyed when reading your post. Today marks a year since Seth's accident and our downhill tumble to the land of the broken-hearted. I feel ya. But it doesn't get any worse than this and, yes, your uncle is right. It's possible to have relationships that are easy and fulfilling and RIGHT...being sad and lonely is sort of our deposit down on eventually being with the right person. If we stayed with the wrong person we'd never find the right one. I've never been happier, though i am flying solo. I'm rambling. Love you.

Marg said...

Suz:

You are an amazing woman. Uncle Mike would be proud that you remembered his advise. Just remember that with disappointments come joy and sometimes something better. Growth and wisdom come from all life's experiences. Mr. Right maybe sitting right beside you. Love you, Mom

Jess said...

That you still have your Toshiba around makes me feel a little better about finally getting around to throwing out my 3 1/4 inch floppies. And those khaki skirts from RTW.

So there may still be a lot of pieces to figure out- but I think you've got the border done and have sorted out the major themes.

Love you and your Suzness.
-Jess