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Thursday, October 23, 2008

crème brûlée revisited

long ago, i wrote a post about derek’s new blow-torch and the about-to-be-newly-released ben & jerry’s flavors. i raved about how much i loved crème brûlée to my friends and family, because, let’s be honest, you handful are the only ones who read this blog, or so i thought. to my delight, someone else, a stranger, actually commented on that particular post – a one bungalow benchly commented:

"When B&J releases this new ice cream, which I must say I'm probably more excited about than I should ever let on in public, they should have Audrey Tautou from Amelie do a demonstration on how to eat it properly. "

not only was i thrilled to have a comment from, and a reader in, a stranger, i was also quite excited to have a comment from this particular stranger. i had had a blog crush on mr. benchly since way back when, when he was blogging on live journal and I was networking on friendster. i came upon his profile accidentally (more or less, if you don’t count me typing in a search for eligible bachelors aged 25-30 within 20 miles of the 05401 zip code). immediately i was struck by his funny and cute pictures with captions that made me laugh out loud. i read about his activities, his thoughts, and his life, including his daily commutes to the evil empire (his former place of work), his family – mama benchly, papa benchly, sisters 1 & 2, and nieces #1-5, his budding relationship with a woman with freckles, and his world of friends and family with their own unique nicknames. i wanted to be part of this person’s world who seemed so much like me – liberal-minded, family-oriented, intelligent, sensitive, an incredible writer (not that i would say that’s like me), funny & fun, and a bit self-deprecating at times, but i didn’t think that he would be interested in little old me. i was hooked and mourned that missed opportunity for at least two days before i got back on the horse and joined lo and behold, whose dating profile should I come across, but a one bungalow benchly, who had not been active in 2 weeks, the same amount of time that he’d been seeing the woman with freckles. now i was convinced i'd missed my soulmate by a hair.

i moved on and i met paul (we all know I don’t hide anything – names, pictures, dates, places…), but still checked up on mr. benchly’s blog every once in awhile. when paul and i broke up for those 4 months, i checked in on benchly to see if he had any brothers (he doesn’t), and that’s when i shamelessly plugged my somethingsomething blog to him. i confessed that i had been reading for the past couple of years and that i even had a link to his blog on my page. he was flattered and that was that, or so i thought.

back in june, mr. benchly walked by me in front of old navy, and although he was too bashful to say hello, thankfully he wasn’t too shy to email me that we were no longer strangers, rather we were “Burlington Residents Who Walked By Each Other The Other Day.” i asked him why the heck he hadn’t said hello and that began our friendship. our daily emails back and forth became small books and i started to miss hearing his thoughts on the weekends. we talked about the books and movies we love and hate, our families, funny stories from our pasts, our relationships, our frustrations with our relationships, politics – anything and everything because it was safe to be internet friends.

i feel bad about this part. i knew he was in a relationship. i knew i was in a relationship. but i couldn’t help but think about how well he matched me. and i had a sneaking suspicion that he felt the same way. the guilty part goes like this: we decided to meet to see if there would be a spark – there was, he made me a mixed CD, i made him a mixed CD, we decided we wouldn’t communicate for a month and see our respective relationships through. we ended our respective relationships. we went on our first date. and then we went on our second date. and by now i’ve lost track of how many dates we’ve been on.
the timing isn’t exactly the greatest. but the person is. little did i know that when benchly made that comment way back when about audrey tautou being the spokesperson for crème brûlée, that I should have responded, “no, i think you would make a better representative…” he’s got a fragile shell that hides something oh so sweet underneath and i really can’t get enough of him.


Jersey said...

Very sweet, like you...miss you, Suz.

Anonymous said...

Be kind, and remember that while a second or third life can be lived online, you are still left with the first.

MaryBeth said...

I've read your blog over and over again and find it very beautiful. I'm looking forward to meeting you. Keep the love that you feel for Benchly alive and geniune no matter what goes forth from here. He's a gem and who would better know than his mom.
Mama Benchly

Anonymous said...

wow~ must be nice to be so conscious free. look at you , wrecking two relationships while looking happy. nice~ that is something you should definitely blog about.
Love J&B on main st.

Q_Monroe said...

Listen nola, this blog is for my friends and family to read. if you don't like it or me, don't read.

you don't know me, you don't know how i feel about my current or past relationships, you don't know my remorse, or the details of the situation.

The least you could do is have the courtesy to let me know who you are.

MOJIE said...

Wow! Don't only cowards post anonymously? What bullshizzle!

As a friend of Q's I happen to know the turmoil that was happening for Q during this time. Nola - you obviously have no idea of Q's character or you wouldn't be trying to malign her on her own blog.

Perhaps you should be less chicken shit and reveal who you are? My guess is you had a dog in that fight and didn't like the outcome.

Why, after all this time do you choose to post a reply to this now Nola? Trying to stir the pot?

Perhaps you have a blog I can comment on? A person who doesn't know your situation, doesn't know you, your struggles or the quality of your character? I'm sure I would have a few choice words for you.

We all make choices that are hard, sometimes they work out and sometimes they don't. Q has chosen to share her life with all of us and give us the privilege of peering into the depth of her heart. With commenters like you, why would she keep opening her heart and her life to all of us?

Clearly, Q is significantly braver then you Nola since you can't even say who you are!!!!

Mr. Benchly said...

Nola - If you knew the situation, you'd know that Q didn't wreck anything; those relationships were broken before any of this started. And if you knew the situation, you'd know that all decisions made last year were the right ones, especially the tough ones.