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Tuesday, April 17, 2007

death & taxes & cleaning

in january, like everyone else in this country, i get my envelopes marked "important tax documents enclosed." however, probably unlike everyone else in this country, i promptly chuck those unopened envelopes into my very organized, orderly "look at later" pile o'crap. then on, say, oh, april 14, i actually, finally sort through that pile o' crap, and find my tax documents, along with that old receipt i was looking for, an old wedding invitation whose RSVP is past due, my map of vail that i meant to frame, those yoga videos lesh burned for me (not that those are crap!), and eva's business card (that's not crap either!).

now, i lead a pretty stress-free life. my job is with a non-profit arts organization whose perks of free dance classes and shows balance out the demanding grant accounting and performing arts class coordinating. but when tax time rolls around, i feel like i'm back in college with a term paper looming over my head, stressing out and procrastinating from doing the inevitable. i work best under pressure, and usually, when under pressure, i clean. don't ask me why. probably because cleaning is the last thing i want to do, besides my taxes. so, i clean. thanks to tax season, my home is spic & span. the fireplace and hearth are free of soot, the shelves are dusted, the floors are mopped, the carpets are vaccuumed, the kitchen counters and sink are scoured, and so is the coffee pot, the bathroom is soft-scrubbed and the mirrors are windexed. piles o' crap are sorted through and filed and arranged neatly. even my finger and toe nails are trimmed and my eyebrows are neatly plucked! i've cleaned out my inbox and deleted old emails and i've arranged my sharpies in rainbow order. only then do i log onto turbotax and get started.
all in all, it wasn't that bad, and my taxes are done for 2006. The 2007 pile o' crap has already been started.

this dear readers, is all just to say, that when you picture me in my last moments of life, inhaling my last breaths, please do not picture me on my death bed, but see me with a duster in one hand, a vaccuum cleaner in the other, and mops on my feet like pippi longstocking. and rest assured, i will be wearing clean underwear!


Eva the Deadbeat said...

you crack me up lady! and if you ever feel like avoiding your taxes and cleaning someone else's house, you are always welcome here! ;)

i procrastinated for SO LONG this year about my dumb taxes. lord, i hate paperwork. i finally finished them last night at 3am and i am sure they are full of errors. oh well, that is for some IRS monkey to deal with!

glad Suzanne is back in blogging land with clean underwear! you got a great blogging voice! ;)

Q_Monroe said...

aw shucks eva, you are one of my most faithful readers! thanks bunches:)

Jess said...

I always find that to avoid stress, you just need to find another productive activity that stresses you out less than the biggie. Cleaning trumps taxes! In my planning trumps thesis! I just need to find something that make thesis writing easy. But seems like winning a race to the bottom of a hole!
Ha ha. I remember your cleaning at our Wells St. apt. Your cleaning frenzies trumped mine...though you may be surprised to learn that I'm the cleaning diva here at our place! (That doesn't necesarily mean that it is very frequent, but when there are papers to be written, I can do a mean cleaning too!)
Glad you're back to the blogging!

Q_Monroe said...

jess, with your thesis looming over your head, i expect your wedding to be fabuloso! it will be of course. and so will your thesis.