tooting my horn

i have played the clarinet since i was in fifth grade. mrs. poupoure was kind of mean, but for some reason, she liked me, and though i hated practicing at times, i really have always loved playing, and i was actually kind of good at it. i played through high school and even played in the orchestra in college for a few semesters. i have anita kinsley's old clarinet that jen (her daughter & my best friend) played until she couldn't stand it anymore, because jen disliked mrs. poupore just about as much as mrs. poupore disliked jen). we had these practice sheets we had to fill out with the times & days of the week we'd practiced. we were expected to play for at least 30 minutes, 6 days a week, and we had to have our parents sign the sheet to prove we weren't just making it up. my mom would never sign it if i'd put in some fake practicing hours. luckily, my dad sometimes would.

anyway, the fact that i play the clarinet has escaped most people in my present life, simply because, i don't play the clarinet anymore. in fact, my boyfriend did not realize i played the clarinet until about a month ago -- though, he's not always one for details...

about 3 months ago, when my boss was putting together this year's FlynnArts' summer teen musical, "Once Upon A Mattress" (the most interesting tale of the Princess & the Pea you may ever hear), I piped up and volunteered to play in the orchestra. it was sort of like the double dog dare i have to give myself when i sign up for a race -- better start running or else. better start practicing or else...

I brought my clarinet to work, planning to pop upstairs to the music studio on free moments to start getting my chops back in shape & to familiarise myself with various scales and fingerings again. i should have had mrs. poupore's time sheet...

of course i did not start practicing until 3 weeks before the show. the music was difficult to say the least. 5 or 6 sharps in the key! and runs that my fingers and mouth could not keep up with! why why must they write D# when it's really an Eb? Someone who knows a little bit more about music theory could answer that question.

but the show went great -- it was hilarious, and the orchestra didn't sound half bad either (the flute covered the runs). i was happy to be a part of it and happy to be part of the flynnarts program. surprise, surprise, i have actually been liking my day job.

though, i still like my night job better -- i made this cake for the cast. i was really so impressed with their dedication and maturity. wish you could have seen the show!

for the most up-to-date photos of my cakes, check out let them eat cake's facebook page & become a fan...

what have we done to anger you so?

on friday i got my first black eye. my sister's boyfriend's dog, philo (like the dough and the mountain) jumped up to greet me and bonked me with his rather large nose. i held in the tears this time.

as were were heading to bed in the loft of my grandparents A-frame log cabin, i asked paul if he was sure he wanted to sleep on the inside. sleeping on the inside means that there are one and a half feet between you and the slanted roof. i reminded him that i'd been sleeping in the loft at star lake all my life and that i was very used to sleeping in an A-frame. he scoffed at me and assured me that he too had experience sleeping in an A-frame. Not 10 minutes later did one of the dogs bark, causing paul to sit straight up, bonking the bridge of his nose. the whole cabin shook.

with the egg on his forehead and the shiner on my face, one might question our domestic situation...

32! 32! 32! 32! 32!

when my very best friend colleenie turned 30, her mother-in-law cut out 100 colleen faces and stuck them on paint stirring sticks. when colleen walked into the room for her surprise party, she stared at a room full of herself wishing her a happy birthday.

i missed the party because my sister was supposed to be giving birth any second. but i saw colleen the very next weekend and was given a souvenir from the big bash.

i put it on my dresser and ella barked & growled at it. i had to put it in the corner behind the curtain. when josh was helping me move he nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw it.

i can't throw colleen's face away. it's too funny. it's a conversation piece. and for the moment, it's in my bag of halloween costumes.

paul does not understand why we need to keep it. he also does not understand why i have to have a bag of halloween costumes, or why i have to keep a bag of gift boxes. i think my stuff might be overwhelming him just a little.

yesterday paul woke up and he was a 32 year old. a very grumpy 32 year old. i'm not sure if it was all my stuff cluttering his house, the fact that he was a year older, or that he was scared that he'd matched up with a packrat.

i did my best to make him happy. i think it worked.

oh the week i've had!

sunday, 5/31:
a: killed my car's battery.
b: took my cell phone for a drag in the lake

wednesday, 6/3: woke up to bunny screams. saved a bunny from my cat (more on the fact that i even have a cat later).

thursday, 6/4: fell out of the boat while disembarking, onto a rock, smack on my tailbone. tears ensued.

sunday, 6/7:
struck a deer at 5 am, driving home from the mansfield, ma phish show. waited in lebanon, nh till 9 am when the car rental place finally opened.

will my luck ever turn around?

not karma this time, just plain stupidity

two things you need to know for this story:

1. when i was a little girl my grandparents nicknamed me wifty, for i was always forgetting, losing, or misplacing something and had a general spaciness about me.

2. this saying: "if you don't like the weather in VT, wait 5 minutes" and this illustration by dug Nap:

yesterday was truly a VT weather day. it really did do almost all of those things -- sun, hail, rain, sleet, rainbows, freezing cold temps, then really hot temps.

during a sunny part of the day, i took a quick car ride and left my windows rolled down.

during a rainy part of the day, i ran to my car to roll the windows up.

during a cloudy part of the day, i decided to get a nice cool run in. this is when i realized i had left my keys in the ignition and the ignition turned on. my car was dead.

during a sunny part of the day, while my car was hopefully recharging itself (no such luck), i went for a kayak. it threatened to be windy, and to possibly rain, so this smarty pants put on her windbreaker and stuck her phone in her pocket.

during a warm part of the day, while huffing and puffing carrying my kayak to the water, i took my windbreaker off and wrapped it around my waist.

during a windy part of the day, while i was huffing and puffing and paddling into the wind, i realized that something was dragging in the water. it was my cell phone pocket.

during a very very windy, so windy part of the day that lake water was splashing into my kayak, i took my cell phone apart and tried to dry it off. and then, for safe keeping, i zipped the 3 pieces of my cell phone into what i thought was my very secure pocket, when in actuality, it was my pit zip (mind you, the jacket was still wrapped around my waist, so it was hard to tell what was what, but seriously wifty, don't you think you should have double checked, considering your first two mishaps of the day?).

during a rainy part of the day, as i was pulling my kayak up onto the beach, my neighbor called to me that i had just dropped something. and so, during that rainy part of the day, i retraced my steps and luckily (yeah right) found the other 2 pieces of my cell phone that had fallen out of my pit zip, nestled safely in the grass.

then, during another rainy part of the day, my next door neighbor kindly helped me jump my car.

during a sunny part of the day, danielle & i decided to go get a drink and sit outside on church street to enjoy the sun (though i had to drive over to make contact & this plan with her because i still don't have internet at the lake and as you very well know, my cell phone was out of service). it started hailing on my way over, but i was way too frustrated at this point to go home to cover our tomato plants!

during a windy windy windy, so windy part of the day that i could not see through the wreck that was my hair, danielle & i were nearly blown over and had to cancel our outside drink plans and settle for pho hung.

during a rainy part of the day(time) of the night, i watched silly british tv with eva and enjoyed some hot tea and popcorn, cozy in her house away from the wet whistling wind.

the weather pattern continued late into the night. i came home to find a very large tree branch on the front yard and i couldn't even call anyone or take a picture and send it to someone (who was seeing a rainbow over Phish @ Fenway...)

p.s. sadly, the purpley-pink phone with the very fun ringtones is dead as a doornail. i've got my trusty silvery-grey cracked old phone working now though.

(sung to the tune of chameleon by boy george) karma karma karma karma karma come on karma, you come and go, you come and go oh oh

i got pulled over last week.* i got yelled at at work.** i got in a huge yelling screaming crying fight with a guy on my condo association. i’m moving, i’m stressed, and things just don’t seem to be going my way. i’ve vowed to be a better person and a harder worker. i am trying, i just can't figure out why karma is biting me so hard in the butt.

this is the saga which i hope to have a happy ending for soon (or at least one i can live with): paul and i decided to move in together! hooray (a whole story about how we are even back together possibly coming soon). i put my place up for rent and of the 6 people/couples who saw the place, only one couple pursued the rental application – a young couple with two dogs (a saint bernard named kitten, so must be sweet as pie, right? and a beagle named fiona who likes to sleep on top of kitten, so they must be well-behaved dogs who get along smashingly with no barking, right?) i let my last roommate get a dog and wrote a quick note to the association that there was now a second dog in 10 hideaway lane. i heard nothing so assumed this procedure was the correct one.

come may 5 when i’m trying to follow all the correct procedures in being a landlord and inform my association of the four new tenants (12 legs in total), i’m told that the second dog must be approved by the board. request and appeal both denied by may 20. 11 days for me to find new renters and for kitten, fiona, and their owners to find a place that will let them all live.

do you think it’s fair that out of the 22 units in my association there are only 3 board members? do you think it’s fair that 2 of the board members live in my building? do you think that the wording of the by-laws, “a second pet must be approved by the board,” implies that a second pet is a possibility?

scene: board member one is pulling out of hideway lane, i am pulling in. we both roll down our windows and he informs me that the association has instructed him not to speak to be about the matter any further. “the association will handle me from there on out .” which means what? they will sue me if I let the renters move in? they will fine me? it’s my friggin’ house,” (i didn’t say friggin’ or any other expletive, after all, i am a lady), which board member one loudly reminds me that “it’s not just mine, we all share the building.” i try to appeal to his compassionate side (which i don’t think exists): “but they have no where else to go.” this does not budge his decision that only one dog be allowed per unit. and anyway, “this issue isn’t his problem, it’s mine, i’m the one who didn’t follow procedures in a timely process, and he would never do anything to put himself in jeopardy of being split from his dog, and he also was tired of wasting his valuable personal time on this matter.” to which i replied, “well you’re the one who chose to be on the board,” and then i said some other emotionally, irrational things and burst into tears. (i called later to apologize, after i called fiona & kitten’s parents to tell them they’d been evicted even before they’d had a chance to move in).

so, i’m looking for new renters, with only one pet allowed (though maybe they could be annoying in some other way that doesn’t go against association by-laws, so that my neighbors still won’t have peace & quiet). oh well, the board members can enjoy their little condos while I bask out here in the sun on the lake where my dogS can run free. i’m not bitter.

but see, that’s where karma creeps in. how to be a good person, try to do everything right, get bitten on the butt, and then not want retribution for that? but then I need to remind myself that i’ve hurt others in other ways, and life hasn’t always been fair for other people when it has been for me. an eye for an eye, a heart for a heart. not one of the golden rules.

i just hope fiona & kitten’s parents find a place soon… (because I felt so terrible I told them they could live at hideaway lane FREE for the month, without one dog that is, until they find a new place). anyone know of a place where two dogs can stay? anyone know of anyone who needs a place to hideaway?

how's your karma? it comes and goes for me.

craig's listing: http://burlington.craigslist.org/apa/1199398276.html

* amazingly, i only got a warning.

** i'd asked for permission to use flash photography and received it, and then got yelled at by someone else not to use the flash. get your stories straight people.

3.1+5.6+6.4+5.5+5.6=26.2 & 13.1+13.1=26.2

ah, VCM 2009. that’s the start of summer for my family. we’ve been participating in the marathon since about 2005 and our numbers have been increasing ever since.last year, jennie and julie trained for their respective parts of the half together, but didn’t like not getting to run together. So, this year, they enlisted the collins brothers to run the other half of their halves, so they could run together.

team j squared

team two young lovers with nothing better to do (10 points for song & artist)

derek split the marathon with his younger brother jeremy, and although they both had very different training strategies, they finished well. derek is the only runner i know who smiles while he’s pounding the pavement. yesterday he had more of a determined facial expression and didn’t even acknowledge us when he ran by us at the waterfront coastguard station. His determination paid off and he came in at about 1:20.

The less daring (stupid? masochistic?) members of my extended family chose to split the 26.2 miles five ways. lynn (derek’s mom), danielle (derek’s sister & my good friend), stephanie (jeremy’s wife & my childhood friend), chris (derek’s best friend & my former swim teacher), and i each ran a portion of the marathon. it was a rainy day, which i preferred for my 5.6 miles, though the spectators weren’t as keen to get soaked. baxter, paige, emma, marg, jon, and alan were fair weather fans and chose to spend the rainy morning napping and playing indoors, and left soon after the starting whistle blew. paul, the super spectator stuck it out on his bike and made sure to place himself at prime cheering locations. before i ran my leg, i asked bax for any strategies he might have. he had run his first race on Saturday – the YAM (youth athletic movement) scram for ages 4+. he ran his .5 mile race with the same determination and facial expression as his father (who may or may not have had tears in his eyes when he pinned his sons bib on). the proud parents ran with their son, and the proud aunt suz looked just like she did in the birthing room – camera in one hand, video camera in the other, racing from one side of the loop to the other for a glimpse.

baxter’s advice was this: run really fast, pass as many people as you can, and have lots of people behind you. i tried my best. he also fueled me up with power kisses and a great big power hug, and i did just fine, though there were plenty of people ahead of me (but plenty of people behind me too).

carb loading with strawberry waffles before his grueling .5 miles

there were 11 runners total in our contingency (though tim, jeff, & julie are missing from our photo because however fast those collins brothers run, they are slow slow slow and didn’t make it to our group photography session in time).

timmy tim, wearing hiking shorts, no less

paul and i hosted the annual carb-loading, pasta dinner this year at his (almost ours) place on lake iroquois.

penne pomodoro, garlic bread a la julie & tim, and salad & rhubarb crisp a la derek’s garden, fueled us for Sunday, and the after party at jennie & derek’s (featuring beer can chicken and mom’s famous turtle nut cake) helped us replenish all the calories we’d burned.

tidbits that you hopefully didn’t miss: the woman who came in under 3 hours who had poop running down her legs, the bloody nipples of many of the men (jeremy tried his best to stop the rubbing, but it was hard to run 13.1 miles holding his shirt away from his chest), and the portapotty signs that said, “flip me over when out of TP.” lynn and i didn’t know how we were going to possibly flip over a portapotty, but paul set us straight when he showed us how to simply flip over the sign.

will i brave the 13.1 miles next year for my 3rd lifetime half? jennie & julie now have 3 under their belts. i’m just not that much into competition. running is supposed to be fun, right? right? actually, it really was.

to see more marathon photos, become my facebook friend: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=81960&id=703677265&l=621896f786

somethingsomethings a brewin'

i've got posts galore stored up in my head people -- so sorry it's been so long. i'm without internet at home for the moment, but soon. i promise, soon.

hoppy hoppy

my older sister wished me a happy easter this morning. she doesn't believe in easter. she believes in candy. she believes that jesus was most likely a good man who was crucified. i don't think she believes the whole coming back to life thing. of what i know about religion, the jews believe that jesus existed, hell -- jesus was a jew. but that he wasn't the messiah. the jews believe the messiah is still to come. let's hope so. i'm half jewish and easter was never a big to-do in my family. besides missing the kids and their easter egg hunt and my mom's ham, doing easter with my boyfriend's polish family wasn't a hardship. and, it actually turned out to be fun. i'd never eaten borscht before. and i'd never heard the fun stories or seen the cute pictures that i did this weekend.

i still don't know what i believe about easter and jesus and christianity and religion. i may never will. what i do like about easter time is that it's a time of growth, rebirth, renewal, & spring. this time (perhaps because of tax season) reminds me to take stock, appreciate what i have, plan for the future, spring clean, and be happy. and if i'm ever not happy, it reminds me to do something to remedy that situation.

hoppy hoppy.

opening day: paigey gets to second base

a recent "titillating" conversation...

scene: after dinner, paige sits on aunt suzie's lap.

paige: suzie?

me: paigey?

p: why you wearing purple pig shirt? (remember people, she's almost 3, and she sometimes drops her pronouns)

me (thinking fast, because in actuality i grabbed it because it was the first clean thing i saw on my floor and i was going to eva's for a slumber party and was basically going to be in my pajamas anyway, and the purple pig shirt is sooo soft): because i knew i was going to see you paige, and i know how much you like purple and pigs.

p: oh.

scene: paige continues touching aunt suzie's shirt, right around the perfectly placed pig's snout and curly-Q tail. the touching becomes more like poking.

p: suzie?

me: paigey?

p: what are these?

me: well, paigey, those are my breasts.

p: why?

me: well, paigey, because, i'm a girl.

p: i'm a girl...

me: yes, you are a girl...

p (lifting up her shirt): i have breasts too, but mine are little.

me: yes, yours are little...

p: and yours are big.

me: yes, mine are bigger... one day yours will be bigger too.

p: so i can feed my baby.

me: right, so you can feed your baby. that's what breasts are for.

scene: paige continues to poke aunt suzie's breasts.

me: you know paige, not all women like it when you touch their breasts.

p: why?

good question.

23 park street lane

my grandmother turned 87 last week, and so the lowells & poiriers (and collins) of vt made the mass exodus to our homeland, our mecca -- 23 park street, malone, ny. g'ma l. and uncle mark had made the 45 minute trip from potsdam and mom's turkey was pretty much ready to be sliced into when we all arrived. g'ma l., ever the practical one, as my readers already well know, doesn't accept gifts well. however, she didn't hesitate to take the remainder of her decadent triple chocolate mocha mousse cake home for the actual big day (we celebrated on sunday, 3/22; her bday was actually wednesday, 3/25).

with bellies full of turkey & mousse cake, and not much to do but sit around on the love seats chatting the hours away until we all had to make our mass exodus back to our homes away from home, the obvious choice was to see what treasures we could find hiding up in the attic.

(please notice new leg warmers)

baxter & paige have taken to fashion shows lately. mainly, i think it's their stalling technique for going to bed. they like to show off which pjs they've chosen for their nocturnal musings and they like there to be a rather dramatic unveiling. (i have no idea who started this ;). so, not lost on the 2 and 4 year olds was the concept of showing off an outfit, but the first items on display (see exhibit a), certainly were lost on baxter and paige. what do they know about '80s fashion? oh, what they don't know, margaret lowell could fill a book, or at least a unitard snowsuit! neon colors only of course!
exhibit a (above)

but the lowell sisters had some key '80s fashion style of their own that they were dying to reveal. i suspect that the youngest lowell sister had alterior motives (in order to secure the love of her beau, she needed him to see, understand, and accept her roots, however tafetta-laced & nylon-silked they are).

trying on old prom dresses is supposed to be fun. trying on old prom dresses is supposed to be fun? why, when i was 16 years old did i think i was fat? why, when those dresses zipped so easily up my back? and today? -- well, notice that those pictures are only taken from the front (exhibit b).

exhibit b:

(prom may '94 and rick, my very first love)

after the fashion show, it was time to look through our old halloween costumes and stuffed animal collections. and that's when B & P got in on the action (exhibit c). what's better than their mom's old tutus? their aunt's micky & minnie dolls and pound puppies!

exhibit c:

(they were already in their pjs for the ride home)

when my parents celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary, g'ma l. & g'ma t. got so into it that they unwrapped their mother-of-the-groom and mother-of-the-bride dresses and surprised us all by walking out arm in arm. g'ma l.'s zipped up, but she couldn't breathe, and g'ma t. wasn't able to show us her back. i've got to get to work if i am to wear that shiny burgundy bridesmaid dress for jennie & derek's silver celebration. the trip down memory lane felt a little melancholy to me. when i told g'ma l. that we had big plans for her 90th -- a cruise for the whole family -- she told me she hoped she wouldn't be around for it. my grandma is active and leads an enriching life -- she takes classes and plays bridge and still attends ski club meetings and ornament exchanges. she goes out to see movies and she reads and she loves suzy ormand! she has an opinion about just about everything and is not afraid to let people know how she feels. she goes to star lake in the summer and remembers all of our birthdays and is there for all of our celebrations. she's been on her own since my granfather died in 1999, but it seems to me that she lives a full life. i hope that when i am that old, i will take happiness in seeing my family grow up around me and that i'll feel frustration but fascination in seeing the changes in my world -- technologies and presidents and foreign relations. i suppose i might also feel lonely and bored, especially when my friends and siblings and loved ones are dying around me. maybe memory lane isn't that much fun when you are always living on it. i told g'ma l. that we want her to be around and that there's still so much for her to see and do. but if she doesn't feel that way, then what are we to do? i guess we continue doing what we do, which includes putting on silly old outfits and indulging her with rich desserts and the occassional gift that she doesn't really need and making her celebrate her 90 years with us on a cruise.

spring spring

i, for one, am ready for spring. i’ve done my fair share of skiing, snow-shoeing, sledding, snow-ball fighting, windshield scraping, & bundling up in layers and layers. i’ve lost at least 3 pairs of gloves (or at least one half of said pairs), i’ve lost a scarf, a hat, and a beloved brooch, and i’ve sufficiently rubbed up against my sand & salted car enough to have turned my black down coat grey. one container of bag balm down and my hands still aren’t moisturized enough, not to mention my pallor! i’m tired of making fires and i’m tired of hibernating. last night i got stuck in my coat for 10 minutes before i could unsnag my zipper. let me out of this cave, dammit!

oh, have i got the fever. the spring cleaning, cabin fever, wanna plant, wanna run fever.

bring on the sunshine. bring on the warm weather and the barbequeing. bring on baseball season and biking!

march is not one of my favorite months; in fact, march is my worst month. it's long -- the longest a month can be -- 31 days, and oh so long after the short 28 day love month. march is grey and dull and warm, but then cold. it's a tease, and i hate it. usually a march vacation is the cure for me, but no vacation looms on my impoverished horizon.

however, my recent weekend was the perfect cure for me and for anyone else who has the fever. i highly suggest following the below steps for maximum march satisfaction.

pre-step: set clocks ahead way earlier than we have in the past. enjoy daylight till 7 pm!

step 1: pay library fines and take out new exciting titles that promise to rivet.

step 2: trip to home depot for supplies.

step 3: trip to hannaford's for supplies.

step 4: lime juice, cane sugar, bacardi, limes, mint, sugar, ice, spring cocktail glasses = MOJITOS. there's nothing like a limey drink to make you feel like spring.

step 5: jimmy buffet concert in your DVD player. open windows, turn on heat, wear your swimgear & crocs, turn up volume (until older lady neighbor asks you to turn it down).














step 6: get all dirty with soil and seeds.

step 7: after sun sets, shut windows, put sweatshirt on, and continue to sip fruity drink until you fall asleep.

step 8: wake up and go spring skiing with only a ponytail & sunglasses (plus clothing, duh) -- helmet & goggles not necessary!

monday will be hard, but friday comes quickly enough, especially if you partake of step 4 each night... (just kidding about 3 of the things i wrote up above).

it will be april before we know it kids!

sweepin' the clouds away

i have a different ringtone for each of the very special people in my life. eva has the b-52's "the deadbeat club," julie and tim have flight of the conchords' "the humans are dead," mom & dad have "we are family," paul has jimmy buffet's "son of a sailor," and another ex has bright eyes' "first day of my life." danielle has beyonce's "single ladies," jess has a latin beat, and tracy has the sex and the city theme song. michael jackson's "thriller" is reserved for anyone work related. and the sesame street theme song is reserved for when the lowell/poirier household gives me a ring.

when i first showed off my new purple phone to my niece & nephew they were thrilled with the choice of their ringtone and sang along: "sunny days, sweepin' the clouds away, on my way to where the air is sweet, can you tell me how to get, how to get to sesame street!" now whenever they see my phone, they want to hear the ring.

for christmas i bought the lowell/poirier clan tickets to see sesame street live at the flynn. earlier this week, i caught their party of 5 in the lobby just as they were about to head to their seats. baxter had his ticket in hand and asked me if he had good seats. i assured him that i didn't work at the flynn for nothing, and that yes, he'd be able to see oscar the grouch up close and personal (row 4 -- thanks AJ). the show was full of dancing monsters and silly antics that had the 2-7 year old audience in an uproar. there were phantom fluorescent feet dancing on the black lit stage, and of course, there was cookie monster and elmo, big bird and grover, bert and ernie, and zoe and rosita.

a 7 pm kid show is a late show. to have an intermission at a kids show is cruel and unusual punishment for parents, and this intermission was particularly torturous. just as the curtains closed on act i, two men walked down the aisles carrying huge elmo face balloon bouquets that threatened to sweep the men to the rafters. not only did every child in the theater see these balloons -- every child in the theater wanted one of these $8 balloons! the oh so purposeful light-up twirly elmo hand-held gadgets were in high demand as well. somehow jennie and derek escaped the show with cash firmly in their pockets.

jennie called me later to thank me for the gift and said that the best part of the night was watching paige dancing in her seat, waving and screaming hello to elmo and cookie at the top of her lungs. it brought tears to her eyes, which in turn brought tears to mine.

the next day, a stray elmo balloon and a lost light-up gadget found their way into my office, another perk of my job. later that evening, baxter and paige were momentarily dumbfounded when a big balloon-headed elmo walked into their kitchen singing "la la la la, la la la la, elmo's world" until they realized it was merely their aunt suzie using a balloon for her face. paige's laughter couldn't be contained, and baxter commented on his good fortune that "that kid" lost his light-up toy.

ah, sunny days. those kids sure do chase my clouds away.

on social utilities

i've got writer's block. i've been thinking about this post on social utilities ever since my life turned upside down and inside out because of a blogger.

i tried this last week and it started something like this...

i've gone and dated myself. i haven't posted since last year (why does this joke never get old?) baxter & paige don't get it yet, but that didn't stop them from running to give me a hug and a kiss goodnight since they weren't going to see me till next year (which was the next day).

speaking of jokes, what do you get when you cross a white chicken with a black cow? brown chicken brown cow. say it really fast and it sounds like a bad '70s movie. bax & paige can deliver this one, but they still don't get it. what do you get when you cross a red chicken with a yellow cow? orange chicken orange cow? not quite.

so, social utilities. facebook, gchat, AIM, texting, twitter. i've been thinking about social utilities. and old people. and the way they used to do it in the old days. and about a recent frustrating conversation held between my father, his mother, and me.

me: look, dad, see, i am friends with our cousin, your aunt's grandchild. see, there's your aunt and your cousin, and their kid, and pictures of the race they ran back in september.

dad: oh, yes, i talked to muriel on the phone and heard about that.

g'ma l: wait, what? how do you have terin's computer on your computer? how are you on her computer?

oh boy.

later on my dad reads my blog outloud to my grandmother, not only like she is deaf (ok, she kind of is), but also like she is blind (he describes every picture), a 3-year old, and also an alien who has never visited our land before. well, maybe it sometimes feels that way to her. when i tried to show her how to toggle between 2 pages, she gave up and didn't understand how i was moving the little arrow. it does seem unlikely that running your finger across a flat pad would move an arrow...

this is the same grandma who was tickled to be able to purchase a cute pair of tennis sneakers over the internet. the same grandma who declared "no gifts" for her this past holiday season, which makes it a fun challenge to think of something that she'll actually deem useful and worthwhile. i still feel a personal triumph every time she mentions how much she loves the fleece blanket that i made for her. anyway, that was an aside, but thinking about it, i realize how happy i am that i still get to write "is" statements about my grandma.

someone once warned me that while a 2nd or 3rd life may be lived on the internet, the 1st one still exists. i wanted to heed the advice, i just didn't really understand what it was. i've heard from another person (not julie's ex-boyfriend, the stiff) that blogs are self-indulgent and a blogger's attempt to portray the image of herself that she wants people to see, not necessarily equal to her actual self. and i've heard from yet others that the only way they know what i'm up to is by reading my blog. i am vain enough that although i haven't written in over a month, i still check my blog counter daily. i apologize to those 15 something people who check my blog every day -- even this post is not going to really update you on what's going on with me.

anyway, my thoughts are nowhere near cogent, but what i'm trying to tell my readers is that i feel like a fake, and i've lost my voice, i've lost a friend, and facebook and blogging no longer hold the excitement that they once did.

my blogger boyfriend is now my ex-boyfriend and we aren't facebook friends anymore, nor are we allowed to comment on each other's blogs. i apologize to him and to others for going public on these so-called social utilities. perhaps they should be named social inutilities. communication is best face to face when what is real is right in front of you, not a fairy-tale dream in cyberspace.

see what i mean about writer's block?

speaking of turkeys...

this 22 lb. fresh, organic, local, $60 turkey went into my oven at 7:30 am. it got up earlier than me. (my mom stuffs turkeys superfast).

these helper turkeys make yummy crescent rolls.

this big brown turkey spilled hot turkey grease all over my dad. luckily someone was there to hold his pant leg away from his leg. sadly, the little pink turkey girl took a digger and slipped on the not-so-successfully-mopped-up turkey grease.

this little turkey only ate a little bit of everything because her tummy wasn't feeling very well. though, when it was "time for dessert time," she still wanted whipped cream, but not on her pie, on the side, thank you very much.

this turkey thought his kid wine had too much spice and was stirring out the fizz.

this momma turkey is still a very pregnant momma turkey. the littlest baby turkey is not ready to come out of the oven yet. (don't worry people, that's kid wine).

el árbol generoso

speaking of trees...this is mr. tree and he wishes me a good day every day on my way to work, and i thank him. some people think i'm crazy for talking to and naming a tree. some people think i am cute & quirky.
this is my favorite tree in the whole wide world. it is somewhere between here and my favorite place in the whole wide world. i never know when it is coming up, i only know it when i see it. some people won't humor me and stop to take a picture. some people will.
the story "the giving tree" by shel silverstein makes some people cry. it doesn't make me cry, but it does make me sad. it makes me sad that that little boy never stopped for a moment to look outside of himself to see what a wonderful gift was being offered to him. it makes me sad that the tree was so selfless that she gave and gave of herself until there was nothing left to give. as often as i read it, and as much as i want that little boy to thank the tree, or perhaps to refuse to cut down her limbs & her trunk, just once, it never happens. what is the lesson shel? to give of yourself freely if you love someone so much, even if that means sacrificing your own happiness to make the one you love happy? to realize what gifts you are being handed and not take them for granted?

the best part is the beginning -- the innocent love between a boy and his tree -- but it goes downhill from there when money and life get in the way. why must love and life be so complicated?

... i was talking about trees, wasn't i?